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Christmas Doesn't Feel Right

My neighbor hung the lights on the outside of our shared duplex. He does the work and I pay the electric bill. It’s a good arrangement. Another neighbor made a beautiful lighted wreath for my front door. I found a vintage ceramic lamp adorned with a Christmas tree and a horse and carriage. This will be the extent of my Christmas décor this year. My family is concerned that I am depressed. I probably am. Since the death of my husband and soulmate three years ago, Christmas just doesn’t feel right.

The youngest grandchildren are disappointed. They don’t understand why Grandma’s house does not have a tree and a nativity. I will join them for their Christmas frivolities, and maybe they will forget about Grandma’s lackluster décor when the four of us bake together. They are learning to bake. Baking pies and bread from scratch is a rare activity in most homes. But baking is my favorite Christmas tradition and its products a unique décor of sorts. Perhaps this practice will become my grandchildren’s family tradition going forward.

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